My heart is flying right now and colored a familiar shade of red.

FenCon was fucking amazing. I have never been to a con before, but this one was about 15 minutes from where we work, and J was so excited about it because Joe Bethancourt would be there. It was Friday evening, Saturday all day, and then most of the day Sunday (closed at 5).

I met a fellow Sekhmet follower, one of the ladies in the dealer room who was selling beautiful jewelry that was way too brilliant and vivid for me. I bought a beautiful antler-tip pendant with subtle curly carvings on the top from her, the only item that she had that jived with my style; I kept putting it down and picking it back up again, which is usually a sign that I’mma get something.

I was wearing a silver Celtic/Nordic lion pendant, and she said, “I see you like Nordic stuff,” and I said, “Well, yeah, Celtic, Nordic, and Egyptian.” She said, “I’m right there with you on the Egyptian stuff,” so I did what I will occasionally, rarely do, and I pulled the Sekhmet pendant from beneath my shirt and showed her.

She broke into a grin. “Sekhmet!”

“You recognize Her!” I replaced the pendant beneath my shirt. “Not many do.”

She smiled at me. “She’s my goddess.”

My heart leapt at those words. Click, there you go – two strangers beaming at each other across a card table, excited and happy and a little awed at making that connection, at sharing something intimate and unusual.

PS~ There was a live SJ Tucker concert in Redmond this weekend, and it was recorded! You can watch it here – there are a lot of songs I haven’t heard before, which surprises and delights me. =3

I have been wanting a $100+ book about Twtw (Tutu/Tithoes) for about a year now, give or take. I have been lusting after it. It is the book on Twtw, an entity I find endlessly fascinating and compelling.

And with his first paycheck, J performed a book tithe and gifted me this book. It arrived today.

And then I arted. Fourth painting, and you know? It came out how I intended. I’m happy. Click through to see a larger version!

Okay so I’m actually giddy and hyper-excited about the book+painting+squee, so uh, “happy” might be an understatement.

(And if you were wondering, yes, that picture was taken with everything resting on a djembe. Also, the background is way more subtle in person, and the outline is in silver, not white.)

I tried painting, this weekend. I have never before painted on a canvas, and I was using my decade-old acrylics from back when I used to paint ceramics. I bought little 4×6″ canvas boards (and a couple 3×3″ black stretched canvas…es) and a small handful of new metallic paints. (When it comes to paints, I am a magpie. Shiny things attract me.) I had plenty of canvas boards, so I didn’t have to worry about making the first few good – I just wanted to see how paints acted on canvas.

I think some part of me must have gotten its hopes up that my first thing would be totally awesome, because I was disappointed when it wasn’t. But I learned something nifty I could do with texture, which made it quite useful. My second painting (which I will show you in a minute) also did not come out quite as intended, but I like it better than the first, though they’re so different as to be incomparable. When my sister saw the second, she liked it enough that I painted her a customized similar thing, which is by far the best of the three, but is hers to share if she so wishes, as it is personal to her.

I will show you the second painting now, with the preface that I am learning and you’re not allowed to critique it. :D I like the style, though I am still practicing how to do finer line-weights with a brush, and may do others of a better nature soon. Anyways, click to see a larger version:

In Egyptian mythology, the sky (Nut) and earth (Geb) loved each other so much that they refused to part, so their father, the god of air (Shu) had to stand between them and hold the sky up, so that life could exist on earth. Below them, in the underworld, you see Wesir on His throne and Nebt-het behind Him, though Nebt-het is not canonically supposed to be there. >_>;; Also you have Ap-p, the chaos serpent, and the Eye of Ra lioness goddess with Her seven arrows (plague, generally) fighting it off. Again, not totally canon, as normally Ap-p attacks Ra in His sun barque when it’s underground during the night, but hey, I was playing around.

Still kinda want to do a more true-to-mythology version, though…

My sister is doing some amazing work with writing songs for Netjeru, and thus inspired, I took the little thing I wrote for Nebt-het and a candle and my beloved classical guitar to the bedroom. (J was in the living room, alternately rocking out on his electric guitar or coffee-painting.)

Let me preface this: I am not a confidant guitarist. I am learning. I know a few chords, and I haven’t played regularly since before the move, so I am rusty in the muscles. I am blessed to occasionally be able to write songs in terms of vocal melody + words, but putting chords to it is still a massive challenge to me, and one I have not attempted more than once or twice, ever. Hell, I can’t even get a strum pattern down beyond a simple 1-2-3-4.

So, I lit the candle, pulled up the words, and sang through it a few times, then started fumbling with chords. I didn’t set up formal ritual and invite Nebt-het in, but I made it abundantly clear that She was welcome to sit with me and/or help with the music for Her minisong. Due to several recent silences in response to my invitations, my expectations were low, but to my cautious delight, I got a sense of Her presence fairly quickly.

Nebt-het, to me, is very tall and very slender, with long slim hands that are cool to the touch. Her color is a velvety purple-tinted medium-light grey. She was constantly behind me, slightly to the left, just as She had been when I lit a candle for Her on Her birthday and wrote the minisong in the first place. After working on it for a while, I figured out all the chords and could, stutteringly, play and sing at the same time.

I offered Her more blackberry-grape water when She wanted some; it was what I had given Her on the first night. (The color of that drink, too, became Her color.) The candle burned low and blue as I kept going. Despite the struggle of doing something hard and new, I was gleeful. I was putting music to words and I was the one who wrote the words and I could sing and play and I even had a strum pattern. Holy crap.

I ran out of energy, and my callus-less fingertips were raw; the candle extinguished itself when She said goodnight to me. I told Her I would do better, keep practicing and make it sound better, and She told me that what I had done was enough. Not in the sense of “no, stop here,” but in the sense that what I had done was perfectly sufficient, completely worthy. I tried to wrap my head around that idea when She thanked me for the music, and I thanked Her (about fifty bajillion times) for sitting in with me.

I am going to try to get smooth enough with the chords and strumming to record a version so you can hear, but for now, I wanted to record this experience. Whatever comes of it, I am grateful and happy and blessed.

So I read this, which compares spirituality to martial arts as an intro and asks if your spirituality is good enough for you. (My phrasing, not the writer’s.)

And I thought about it. Hmm. What has my spiritual path, in all its twists and turns, done for me?

I took up martial arts in Sekhmet’s name, which deeply affected my self-identity and my physical health and my ability to relate to people, all for the better.

At Sekhmet’s request, I learned (and continue to learn) an amazing amount about ancient Egypt, not just religion and mythology but also magic and their forms of ethics, which parallel nicely my Eastern-based ones. And I have bonded deeply with friends and met wonderful people, found an entire community in fact, through this.

I completely revolutionized my personal paradigm in order to drop all the shoulds and keep only what was true to me, in experience and belief. This process also meant leaving my attempt at being a hard polytheist and adopting the “diamond metaphor,” which I later learned represents what’s called monolatry. Conveniently, this is the Kemetic Orthodoxy point-of-view – and my paradigm-shift had Sekhmet as its catalyst.

I committed to improving and caring for myself, in all ways. Part of that was physical work, again in Sekhmet’s name, but all the emotional and mental bits have been zen-based, working towards peace and compassion and gentleness. That zen work, seeking to live in Tao (and in ma’at, as it turns out), has been possibly my greatest challenge.

“An’ it harm none, do as ye will” was also a world-changer for me. The harm-none part goes hand in hand with the above-mentioned peacefulness, but the other part stands out brightly: I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to play by the rules or abide by expectations. I can make my own life, forge my own path, and seek my own fortune. So I have, and I have a wonderful, amazing, rather unpredictable life; it is not as adventurous as some, nor as secure as others, but it is mine, and I dearly love it.

My entire worldview is entrenched deeply in the natural world, its soil and its creatures, its rhythms and its cycles. This has not so much changed or catalyzed my life as grounded it, buried it with the roots of the mountains, kept it safe and solid as long as I remember to reach down and touch the earth. I understand more, about anything and everything, when I look at things through animal eyes. I grok the human animal, and I find more compassion for my fellow living people of all species by knowing how the brain and body work. Life makes more sense when my heart lives in the soil.

Yeah, I think I’m pretty okay with my spirituality. :D

I met God today.
He had a man’s visage indistinct
and a lion’s body wrapped in dusk.
Hiding under His living shadow
were pale pinions and a serpent-faced tail.

I met God today.
He had a voice like an earthquake beneath the sea,
and His words reverberated inside my skull
like rolling thunder across the prairie at night.
His laughter shook the starry sky.

I met God today.
He dared me to brave His darkness to reach His depths,
demanded my zeal to bring Him as a moth to aqua light.
I said okay. I said alright.
I’ve seen scarier shadows before.

I met God today.
I bid Him welcome.
I said may a particle of You find a home here
and gave Him the statue a craftsman had made of Him,
so that He and I might live together under the same roof.

I met God today.
And with any luck, I’ll meet Him tomorrow, too.

Serqet

– Serqet is a scorpion goddess. She is both protector (with Her stings and from them) and healer (of Her own poison). She is associated with the most deadly scorpions in Egypt.

– Because I fucking love scorpions, I took an interest in Serqet. Because I have a vested personal concern in removing poisons from my life and protecting myself from any future poisons, I took a keen interest in Her.

– On the move to Texas, we stopped at a gas station selling random novelty items. I found a variety of scorpion keychains of varying colors and scorpion species/subspecies. I was unable to choose anything but this one, a yellow scorpion in amber resin, with long and thin (instead of blocky and strong) pincers. J made me a lanyard necklace for it, as you see in the photo.

– I wrote the prayer to Serqet and have been wearing the necklace. I remind myself of it, and Her, when I feel like I am succumbing to (emotional, mental) poisons.

– I decided to find out which scorpions are in Egypt. I found out about the Deathstalker scorpion. In order to make an icon for Serqet, I looked up photos of this scorpion.

– I came across this, which looks pretty much exactly like the scorpion in my necklace, barring the obvious size difference.

– I figured I’m doin’ something right. :D

…

Renenutet

– Renenutet is a cobra goddess of abundance. She is a divine nurse (but not child-bearer Herself) and is said to protect both the pharaoh and the crops, both in the field pre-harvest and in the granaries afterwards, because cobras eat the vermin that would eat the crops.

– I have an amazingly strong draw towards Renenutet and a powerful, almost tangible sensory impression of Her. (This has to do with synesthesia, so my feeling of Her translates in weird ways.) The most overwhelming association with Her for me is the color of wheat and barley and indirect sunlight. Every time I think of Her, that color invades the space around me like someone dyed the air yellow.

– I decided to find out which cobras are in Egypt. Unsurprisingly, I found out about the Egyptian cobra. In order to make an icon for Renenutet, I looked up photos of this snake. (Sound familiar?)

– I came across this, the banded Egyptian cobra. The golden color is the exact color that I keep seeing/feeling when I think of Renenutet.

– As a bonus, my long-time self-image of myself as a Korat, my favorite fictional species of mine, is evenly striped with black and, you guessed it, pretty much that exact shade of gold. See? (Apologies for the ancient art and bad scan.)

– I figured I’m doin’ something right. XD

I am underlit
with stars
and the wind cools My bare throat
as I bend
and put the world to My belly
with just enough space
between us
to breathe

O Serqet,
She Who Causes The Throat To Breathe
(possibly for the last time):

Drain me of this poison.
Leech it from the soft tissues
of my lungs and my heart.
Milk it from my bones
like sap from a tree.

Protect me from all poisons,
all stings and strikes and attacks,
all accidents, all malfortune.
Keep my blood clear,
my body strong and hale.

Dua Serqet,
gracious healer, fierce protector,
lady of the beautiful tent,
mistress of heaven,
lady of all the gods!

i will bury my face
in the soul-flesh of the gods
which is, for the moment,
the color of wheat fields
and indirect sunlight;
perhaps if i breathe
their essence into me,
the color of spun gold
will permeate my throat
and seep from my lungs
out to every pore
until i am
a little more
sacred.

i, protected by my coat
of a thousand sun-hot knives
that sing in thin, high voices,
will walk through this world
and leave only a trail
of shed hairs
and wild stories.

all that comes against me
with intent to harm
shall be reduced to naught
but red ribbons.

all that comes to me
in peace and in joy
shall be lifted up
and praised, loved, celebrated.

my footprints bear no coherency,
no more than my face
or my heart,
and i will pass away like the wind,
into the wind,
and the trees will whisper rumors
of where i have gone
while i sleep in their roots.

So, to some/most people, my sudden obsessive interest in Kemeticism is probably a surprise. And since the whole package deal fills me with happy wriggles and excitement and connection, I might as well ramble and explain some of it! At least the basics, right?

First, some pertinent links:

– About Kemetic Orthodoxy
– About the creator and leader of Kemetic Orthodoxy
– Kemetic Orthodoxy forums aka the House of Netjer (I’m Emky on all forums)
– Kemetic Interfaith Network forums (a place for all Kemetics, not just Kemetic Orthodoxy, to come together and talk and socialize and share and learn)

And pertinent terms (put into my own words):

– Netjer = the Universal Soul, the divinity and life-force within all things (also: godhead, the Source, etc)
– Netjeru / Names = Netjer pluralized, the forms that Netjer takes, gods

Years ago, I came up with a diamond metaphor to explain how I view the Universal Soul and gods/archetypes. To my shock, I found the exact same metaphor used, entirely independently of me, in the teaching materials of the beginner course. Basically, if one considers Netjer/the Universal Soul/the Great Spirit/God/etc as an infinitely faceted diamond, so huge and shining as to be incomprehensible by the human mind in Its whole, then each facet – distinct, individual-yet-connected – is a Netjeru/god/archetype/etc. And each facet can be further faceted down (for example, Sekhmet-as-destroyer and Sekhmet-as-healer), even going so far as to get completely subjective views (Sekhmet-as-She-appears-to-me). That’s what monolatry is, somewhere along the spectrum of hard and soft polytheism, and that’s the Kemetic Orthodoxy view. Which, apparently, I adopted before I even knew about the religion. :D

– ma’at = the concept of rightness, justice, truth, and order; not exactly “good” (similar to Tao but not the same)
– isfet = bad shit, anti-ma’at; the concept of wrongness, chaos; not exactly “evil” (similar to sin but not the same)
– heka = authoritative utterance; spoken or written magic
– henu = a physical gesture of deep respect and praise, often phrased as “offers henu”; see illustration, can also be done with forearms/hands/forehead pressed to floor in a kneeling position
– nekhtet! = “victory”, used when one might say “huzzah!” or “booyah!”
– dua = praise/hail, phrased as “Dua [deity]!”
– the Duat = the Unseen world; the horizon
– Hemet / the Nisut = the leader of Kemetic Orthodoxy
– Wep Ronpet = Kemetic new year, based on the rising of Sirius over the horizon (and thus close to the inundation)
– em hotep = “in peace”, a Kemetic greeting
– ka = part of the human soul that is the psyche/personality of the current incarnation; one’s essence, which one can feed/nourish by doing awesome things for oneself; this is the bit that gets venerated as an ancestor after death
– ba = the eternal part of the human soul, that which outlasts the body’s death; this is the bit that reincarnates or resides forever after with Netjer
– Remetj = “the people”, friends of the faith, folks who participate in and follow the tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy but have not committed to it as their foremost path
– Shemsu = devotees, those who have sworn to uphold Kemetic tenets and honor Kemetic deities before all others (but are still totally allowed to have other practices/worship non-Kemetic gods, which is awesome)

I don’t expect anyone to remember all of this, of course, but I figured an entry to reference might help the unfamiliar when I drop a term and forget to define it afterwards. ^^;

To sum up the path that led me to Kemetic Orthodoxy… In 2005, I initiated a relationship with Sekhmet; for a lot of reasons at the time, I needed Her. For the first couple years, it was a request-based relationship, but we got much tighter when She requested that I study Egyptian religion and mythology. (I had protested that I was no good with ceremonialism, but She wanted me to know as much as I could so that I could blend Her culture with my own organic spirituality as well as possible. I figured it was a fair compromise. Knowledge can’t hurt, right?) I did an initial round of study, deepened my devotion to Her, and this year, came into the urge/calling for another round of more in-depth study.

As a part of that study, I took the beginner course offered by Kemetic Orthodoxy, acquired like ten new books (with so many more on the wishlist…), and found people I respect and adore in the community. Turns out that (this brand of) Kemeticism is not nearly so ceremonial-magicky as I thought; some state practices are formal, but most personal practice is spontaneous and/or flexible. I never really thought I’d find a spiritual community that resonated well with me, that so supported individual experiences and subjective differences and tolerance, but I have, and I love it dearly. Also, for the first time in many a year, I feel drawn towards deities other than Sekhmet, which is amazing and a little nervous-making, but I’m eager to explore. Hell, I’m even wanting to turn this ravenous appetite for knowledge-experience back on Celtic mythology, which I never realized felt like home turf until I ventured back into the green.

I am just… utterly amazed by the vibe the Kemetic Orthodoxy community gives off. It’s like basking in sunlight, wanting to roll around to absorb every last bit of warmth and brilliance. These people aren’t just devoted to what they believe, they aren’t just worshipping and taking joy in their gods, they’re learning and studying and debating and doing. They fuse mind and spirit, body and word. The primary personal rite, Senut, even has suggested maximums of typical time spent in it because one should be out living this life they’re celebrating, not staying in shrine dawn to dusk. (Uh, priests have slightly different expectations, of course, but the emphasis on Living Life remains.) That’s so cool to me. And, while Kemetic Orthodoxy does have certain tenets central to the faith, they aren’t The Only Way. It may be the Kemetic Orthodoxy way, but if you don’t jive with that, if you don’t believe it or practice it, no problem – it doesn’t make you wrong, even though it may make you not-Kemetic-Orthodox. Tolerance for the win!

And yes, everything about Kemetic Orthodoxy and the friends I have made within it is infused with NRE (new relationship energy; the buzz, the dazzle, the endorphin glow). I am excited and giddy about my fellow beginners, about the upcoming graduation process that will see us offered a place within the religion as either Remetj (see aforementioned terminology list) or Shemsu, depending on where we want to be and the level of commitment we wish. I want to keep challenging myself to learn more, experience more, and do more. It’s an amazing, eye-opening thing, and since my core beliefs and worldview parallel or overlap the Kemetic Orthodoxy tenets, I can stay true to myself while engaging fully.

tl;dr version: Kemetic Orthodoxy is crazy-awesome and jives with me really well and I’m super-happy with it. :D

Happy Wep Ronpet! Today is the first day of the Kemetic new year, a year of green and building under the guidance of Ptah, creator and patron of artisans and craftsmen, consort of Sekhmet. I like Ptah a lot and was leaning towards Him before the year’s oracle was announced, so it fits extra-well to me.

I rather like having two new years – one in January, my personal new year, and now one almost perfectly opposite it, for Kemetics. More fresh starts and renewal energy. Is good.

In the tradition of Wep Ronpet activities, one makes a representation of Ap-p (Apophis), the snake that embodies isfet, the monster that Ra in His solar barque must defeat each night so that the sun may rise at dawn– and then one slays that representation.

J made a pansnake (pancake-snake), and we slew it with great fanfare. It bled boysenberry syrup. I left the severed head, along with a blood-colored drink, on my altar.

We’re a caring, gentle people… :D

Since I could not do the ritual of the Red Pot, where one smashes a terracotta pot to symbolically destroy the thing(s) holding one back, I made do with fire magic instead. I’d acquired a copper bowl for exactly such a purpose, in Sekhmet’s name, a while back, and this was the first time in using it. (Anyone familiar with magic will probably already know what I did – write down the thing(s) I want destroyed, burn the paper, scatter/bury the ashes. Standard stuff.) I felt better afterwards.

And then I went the hell to sleep because it was almost 2 am and I was exhausted.