I just had a weird moment where I thought about Ptah creating the world with his voice, with words, and how I might identify with that, with Him, in writing with words to create my own worlds.

Uh.

Nebt-het seems a sad story to me. Always playing second to Her sister, Aset; married to Set, but living with Aset and Wesir, and possibly for this incongruency, She was called “an imitation woman with no vagina” in one of the Pyramid Texts; had a child by Wesir, upsetting Aset, but was never Wesir’s chosen wife, though She mourned faithfully along with Aset when He died. She is guide to the newly deceased and comfort to the surviving relatives, perhaps because She lost Wesir– perhaps because She knows how it hurts and thus how to comfort, and perhaps because She wanted to guide Wesir safely through the Duat but could not, so She instead guides the human dead.

I lit a candle, prayed, and shared my blackberry-grape water with Her.

…

lady of darkness
sweep away shadows
bring the fallen one into light
help those left upon this earth
move on and brave a precious rebirth

lady of darkness
draw close the shadows
hide the new child safely
help your lord’s son grow into strength
so he may one day take your lord’s place

…

Uh, that last line is referring to Heru-sa-Aset, who Nebt-het helped protect and hide during His vulnerable childhood, becoming king in His father Wesir’s stead.

Also, that totally has a tune to it. Sweet. Click here to listen! (An interesting note… the tune is derived from my sister’s song to Set. I looked to Nebt-het when it popped into my head and asked if it was okay, and got the distinct impression that She has no problem with using a melody similar to Her husband’s song.)

may You align
all mothers’ hearts and hands
to their children’s highest good
and may no one
commit isfet
in Your name.

(yes, that includes
creating snakes
that bite the sun god.
just sayin’.)

shed Your cool light
which is as starlight on fresh snow
on the lives of those
who need You as mother
and guide them
as You did Your own son.

(even with the scorpions.
i know their stings
build character
when they do not destroy.)

may Your love be known,
seen, felt,
as pure emotion, not just
service.

Renenutet is barley-wheat-golden, the color of indirect sunlight, the softness of grain and the practicality of threshing it. Harvest-goddess, protective of the crops before and after they’re taken from the fields, and likewise protective of and involved with the vineyards. Mother-goddess, divine nurse, nurturing and sustenance-giving. Cobra, fiery-eyed to enemies (but not nearly so strong or purely-aggressive as Sekhmet), linked to the uraeus and thus to the Eye of Ra (but softly, distantly, not as much as Wadjet). Sun-golden and harvest-bountiful and earthy-practical and loving.

Ptah is… pale blue but not directly, like the color is filtered through an open room and barely seen as an aura/overlay. Beautiful Of Face, with skin like faience and stars, bearded and smooth-headed. Craftsman, patron of artisans, blue-collar in that He works with His hands where most the other Names don’t, but sophisticated in that He is a master at what He creates. Gentle, quiet-voiced; not the epitome of compassion and coddling, but relaxed, unassuming, understanding. Sovereign in what He does and is, and allows others, including humans, to be sovereign in what they do and are; there is no pressure to conform or to change or to Do/Be This Thing. I feel like I could sit in the room where He’s working and not need to say anything, just be comfortable in the silence, in the dim softly-lit air that is somehow dusty, maybe with sawdust or just murky sunlight through small windows. Craftsman-Ptah is Creator-Ptah, and it makes sense to me that He could make all that exists and then take joy in working physically, building structures and other things within that creation. Other than the pale blue aura, all the color I see with/around Him is in browns– woods, dust, muddy golden light through a needs-cleaning window.

Yinepu… I blame my sense-impression of Him on someone (I think Per-Sabu.org?) saying the key word “cthonic” and cuing up in my head all sorts of visceral reactions and sensations/imagery normally reserved for Celtic deities, for Cernunnos. See, Celtic deities feel like home, like all that’s in the earth and a part of it, thickly elemental and tangible and sensory; Kemetic deities feel clear and spacious, open, bright, but not perfectly clean or flawless– just delineated, complex but well-lit. If my experiences are a tree, Celtic is the twining roots and Kemetic is the stretching branches. But Yinepu bridges the gap between Kemetic clarity and Celtic visceralness, with strong arms and black fur, a sense of the underground that feels familiar to me, an animal force matched with a thinking mind and a feeling spirit/soul. Silence, and coolness, and a heavy male-canid presence, a crouching, a waiting. No hostility or even intimidation, no fear, and probable considerable gentleness/compassion for the dead or the (more spiritual, more shamanic) death-rebirth process– but also not a bouncy, tail-waggy jql-pup. I am intrigued and, while not specifically drawn to Him, I don’t know what to do when I get that strong a sense of Someone but find out more about Them.

I couldn’t possibly do more honor to Set than my sister’s already done Him, so instead, I will point to the song she wrote for Him. Listen to it a thousand times over; it is beautiful.

Set wisdom of the day: Isfet is a terrible and grievous thing and must be extinguished, but people are not isfet. People do isfet; they themselves are merely lost.

Dua Set!

I sat in the backyard next to a candle lit for Heru-wer, and this got stuck in my head as a looping singsong chant.

Thanks for the tune, Heru-wer. Good timing. Henu to You.

(Y’all can click here to listen. Mediocre recording quality, but it gets the point across.)

…

Heru-wer has wakened
and so comes up the sun;
and now that Heru-wer has risen,
inward flows the dawn;
and now that Heru-wer has spoken,
isfet is overcome.

…

For those who have no clue who the hell Heru-wer is and what isfet is and why I’m wishing random entities happy birthday:

I’ve dug myself a homey nest in the fertile ground of Kemeticism, specifically with Kemetic Orthodoxy (the aforementioned awesome spiritual group). In other words, I am studying and beginning to practice a soft-reconstructionist version of ancient Egyptian religion and spirituality. I will be writing about this a lot in days to come.

Right now, we are within the five days considered to be outside the year – the intercalary or epagomenal days. (Started Friday, ends Tuesday. Wednesday, August 3rd, is New Year Day.) Each of the five days is a major god’s birthday. So I’m lighting a candle for each one and, apparently, writing a little sommat for Them. (Or, in this case, singing it.)

Yesterday’s god, Wesir (Osiris), is lord of the underworld. Today’s god, Heru-wer (Horus the Elder) is a solar warrior. Those two sentences are heinous over-simplifications, but they’ll work for those who are totally unfamiliar with Egyptian mythology. :)

Oh, and isfet = bad shit. Going against the rightness/order of the universe – more like “chaos” than “evil.” And henu is a form of deep respect accompanied by physical gestures.

with a candleflame like a tooth
from the jaw of some almighty being
I hail You, in praise, in respect.

thank You for keeping
the dead that we love.

may the olive-green of tea
be Your color in my mind
and may every drink of it I take
cool You and refresh You.

hail to the bull in His cavern
and the green man in the West.

A – anir – growth
B – bont – structure, walls, building
C – cec (kess) – transition, fluctuation, (reverse)
D – ders – hiding, protection, safety, privacy
E – ea – striking, sharp, lightning, pain
F – fert – steps, ascension, obstacle
G – golo – movement, journey, direction
H – ha – flow, trust, Tao
I – ino – binding, weaving, tangling
J – jes – stitching, bridging, mending
K – ket – earth, strength, bracing, stabilizing
L – lur – carring, holding, caring
M – min – shadow, darkness
N – nas – sky, clouds, wind
O – oros – rain, water
P – penf – slope, hillside (with trees)
Q – qu (koo) – mushrooms, nourishment, food
R – rens – window
S – sel – fire, sun, heat, light
T – tid – grass, field
U – ura – empathy (emotion, communication)
V – vec – crossroads, a point, a stopping place
W – wob – handle, doorknob, key
X – (unused)
Y – yef – essence, instincts, identity, id
Z – zir – finishing, sealing, whole, complete

Where She stands tall in light, I lie low in shadow.
Where She roars in fury, I am quiet in calm.
Where She loses control to violence, I maintain self-control in pacifism.
Where She is pacified by blood and wine, I am horrified and riled by both.
Where She stalks the endless desert, I pace the wooded mountains.
Where She is fearless and feared, I am cautious and unthreatening.
Where She is blinding and burning, I am dark and cool.
Where She is a god and a ruler, I am a mortal and a citizen.
Where She is an instrument of hard justice, I am a subjective mediator.
Where She is solar fire and dry wind, I am flowing water and deep earth.
Where She is fierce yet feminine, I am gentle yet masculine.

Where She is a woman with a lion’s face, I am a lion with a woman’s face.

Where She is the sun, I am the moon, reflecting Her brilliance from a different angle.

If nothing else, it must be noted. This is what I am.

i am going to
pour myself into the earth,
coiling between roots
and rocks
until my belly meets
the spine of some underground lake;
i will fall into it,
like air into the lungs
like blood into the heart
like light into the eyes
and breathe the essence
of depth and chill,
of darkness and fluidity,
and remember what it is that i am
and where i came from.

I danced through shapes towards ecstasy, the room eerie in a blue glow and electrance music filling the air. I remembered/rediscovered how my body can move, as a human, as a snake, as a beast, as a creature that is all of these and nothing in particular.

I will do this again, and celebrate my skins, and find joy in my body.