Archive for August, 2011

So I read this, which compares spirituality to martial arts as an intro and asks if your spirituality is good enough for you. (My phrasing, not the writer’s.)

And I thought about it. Hmm. What has my spiritual path, in all its twists and turns, done for me?

I took up martial arts in Sekhmet’s name, which deeply affected my self-identity and my physical health and my ability to relate to people, all for the better.

At Sekhmet’s request, I learned (and continue to learn) an amazing amount about ancient Egypt, not just religion and mythology but also magic and their forms of ethics, which parallel nicely my Eastern-based ones. And I have bonded deeply with friends and met wonderful people, found an entire community in fact, through this.

I completely revolutionized my personal paradigm in order to drop all the shoulds and keep only what was true to me, in experience and belief. This process also meant leaving my attempt at being a hard polytheist and adopting the “diamond metaphor,” which I later learned represents what’s called monolatry. Conveniently, this is the Kemetic Orthodoxy point-of-view – and my paradigm-shift had Sekhmet as its catalyst.

I committed to improving and caring for myself, in all ways. Part of that was physical work, again in Sekhmet’s name, but all the emotional and mental bits have been zen-based, working towards peace and compassion and gentleness. That zen work, seeking to live in Tao (and in ma’at, as it turns out), has been possibly my greatest challenge.

“An’ it harm none, do as ye will” was also a world-changer for me. The harm-none part goes hand in hand with the above-mentioned peacefulness, but the other part stands out brightly: I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to play by the rules or abide by expectations. I can make my own life, forge my own path, and seek my own fortune. So I have, and I have a wonderful, amazing, rather unpredictable life; it is not as adventurous as some, nor as secure as others, but it is mine, and I dearly love it.

My entire worldview is entrenched deeply in the natural world, its soil and its creatures, its rhythms and its cycles. This has not so much changed or catalyzed my life as grounded it, buried it with the roots of the mountains, kept it safe and solid as long as I remember to reach down and touch the earth. I understand more, about anything and everything, when I look at things through animal eyes. I grok the human animal, and I find more compassion for my fellow living people of all species by knowing how the brain and body work. Life makes more sense when my heart lives in the soil.

Yeah, I think I’m pretty okay with my spirituality. :D

I met God today.
He had a man’s visage indistinct
and a lion’s body wrapped in dusk.
Hiding under His living shadow
were pale pinions and a serpent-faced tail.

I met God today.
He had a voice like an earthquake beneath the sea,
and His words reverberated inside my skull
like rolling thunder across the prairie at night.
His laughter shook the starry sky.

I met God today.
He dared me to brave His darkness to reach His depths,
demanded my zeal to bring Him as a moth to aqua light.
I said okay. I said alright.
I’ve seen scarier shadows before.

I met God today.
I bid Him welcome.
I said may a particle of You find a home here
and gave Him the statue a craftsman had made of Him,
so that He and I might live together under the same roof.

I met God today.
And with any luck, I’ll meet Him tomorrow, too.

Serqet

– Serqet is a scorpion goddess. She is both protector (with Her stings and from them) and healer (of Her own poison). She is associated with the most deadly scorpions in Egypt.

– Because I fucking love scorpions, I took an interest in Serqet. Because I have a vested personal concern in removing poisons from my life and protecting myself from any future poisons, I took a keen interest in Her.

– On the move to Texas, we stopped at a gas station selling random novelty items. I found a variety of scorpion keychains of varying colors and scorpion species/subspecies. I was unable to choose anything but this one, a yellow scorpion in amber resin, with long and thin (instead of blocky and strong) pincers. J made me a lanyard necklace for it, as you see in the photo.

– I wrote the prayer to Serqet and have been wearing the necklace. I remind myself of it, and Her, when I feel like I am succumbing to (emotional, mental) poisons.

– I decided to find out which scorpions are in Egypt. I found out about the Deathstalker scorpion. In order to make an icon for Serqet, I looked up photos of this scorpion.

– I came across this, which looks pretty much exactly like the scorpion in my necklace, barring the obvious size difference.

– I figured I’m doin’ something right. :D

…

Renenutet

– Renenutet is a cobra goddess of abundance. She is a divine nurse (but not child-bearer Herself) and is said to protect both the pharaoh and the crops, both in the field pre-harvest and in the granaries afterwards, because cobras eat the vermin that would eat the crops.

– I have an amazingly strong draw towards Renenutet and a powerful, almost tangible sensory impression of Her. (This has to do with synesthesia, so my feeling of Her translates in weird ways.) The most overwhelming association with Her for me is the color of wheat and barley and indirect sunlight. Every time I think of Her, that color invades the space around me like someone dyed the air yellow.

– I decided to find out which cobras are in Egypt. Unsurprisingly, I found out about the Egyptian cobra. In order to make an icon for Renenutet, I looked up photos of this snake. (Sound familiar?)

– I came across this, the banded Egyptian cobra. The golden color is the exact color that I keep seeing/feeling when I think of Renenutet.

– As a bonus, my long-time self-image of myself as a Korat, my favorite fictional species of mine, is evenly striped with black and, you guessed it, pretty much that exact shade of gold. See? (Apologies for the ancient art and bad scan.)

– I figured I’m doin’ something right. XD

I am underlit
with stars
and the wind cools My bare throat
as I bend
and put the world to My belly
with just enough space
between us
to breathe

O Serqet,
She Who Causes The Throat To Breathe
(possibly for the last time):

Drain me of this poison.
Leech it from the soft tissues
of my lungs and my heart.
Milk it from my bones
like sap from a tree.

Protect me from all poisons,
all stings and strikes and attacks,
all accidents, all malfortune.
Keep my blood clear,
my body strong and hale.

Dua Serqet,
gracious healer, fierce protector,
lady of the beautiful tent,
mistress of heaven,
lady of all the gods!

i will bury my face
in the soul-flesh of the gods
which is, for the moment,
the color of wheat fields
and indirect sunlight;
perhaps if i breathe
their essence into me,
the color of spun gold
will permeate my throat
and seep from my lungs
out to every pore
until i am
a little more
sacred.

i, protected by my coat
of a thousand sun-hot knives
that sing in thin, high voices,
will walk through this world
and leave only a trail
of shed hairs
and wild stories.

all that comes against me
with intent to harm
shall be reduced to naught
but red ribbons.

all that comes to me
in peace and in joy
shall be lifted up
and praised, loved, celebrated.

my footprints bear no coherency,
no more than my face
or my heart,
and i will pass away like the wind,
into the wind,
and the trees will whisper rumors
of where i have gone
while i sleep in their roots.

So, to some/most people, my sudden obsessive interest in Kemeticism is probably a surprise. And since the whole package deal fills me with happy wriggles and excitement and connection, I might as well ramble and explain some of it! At least the basics, right?

First, some pertinent links:

– About Kemetic Orthodoxy
– About the creator and leader of Kemetic Orthodoxy
– Kemetic Orthodoxy forums aka the House of Netjer (I’m Emky on all forums)
– Kemetic Interfaith Network forums (a place for all Kemetics, not just Kemetic Orthodoxy, to come together and talk and socialize and share and learn)

And pertinent terms (put into my own words):

– Netjer = the Universal Soul, the divinity and life-force within all things (also: godhead, the Source, etc)
– Netjeru / Names = Netjer pluralized, the forms that Netjer takes, gods

Years ago, I came up with a diamond metaphor to explain how I view the Universal Soul and gods/archetypes. To my shock, I found the exact same metaphor used, entirely independently of me, in the teaching materials of the beginner course. Basically, if one considers Netjer/the Universal Soul/the Great Spirit/God/etc as an infinitely faceted diamond, so huge and shining as to be incomprehensible by the human mind in Its whole, then each facet – distinct, individual-yet-connected – is a Netjeru/god/archetype/etc. And each facet can be further faceted down (for example, Sekhmet-as-destroyer and Sekhmet-as-healer), even going so far as to get completely subjective views (Sekhmet-as-She-appears-to-me). That’s what monolatry is, somewhere along the spectrum of hard and soft polytheism, and that’s the Kemetic Orthodoxy view. Which, apparently, I adopted before I even knew about the religion. :D

– ma’at = the concept of rightness, justice, truth, and order; not exactly “good” (similar to Tao but not the same)
– isfet = bad shit, anti-ma’at; the concept of wrongness, chaos; not exactly “evil” (similar to sin but not the same)
– heka = authoritative utterance; spoken or written magic
– henu = a physical gesture of deep respect and praise, often phrased as “offers henu”; see illustration, can also be done with forearms/hands/forehead pressed to floor in a kneeling position
– nekhtet! = “victory”, used when one might say “huzzah!” or “booyah!”
– dua = praise/hail, phrased as “Dua [deity]!”
– the Duat = the Unseen world; the horizon
– Hemet / the Nisut = the leader of Kemetic Orthodoxy
– Wep Ronpet = Kemetic new year, based on the rising of Sirius over the horizon (and thus close to the inundation)
– em hotep = “in peace”, a Kemetic greeting
– ka = part of the human soul that is the psyche/personality of the current incarnation; one’s essence, which one can feed/nourish by doing awesome things for oneself; this is the bit that gets venerated as an ancestor after death
– ba = the eternal part of the human soul, that which outlasts the body’s death; this is the bit that reincarnates or resides forever after with Netjer
– Remetj = “the people”, friends of the faith, folks who participate in and follow the tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy but have not committed to it as their foremost path
– Shemsu = devotees, those who have sworn to uphold Kemetic tenets and honor Kemetic deities before all others (but are still totally allowed to have other practices/worship non-Kemetic gods, which is awesome)

I don’t expect anyone to remember all of this, of course, but I figured an entry to reference might help the unfamiliar when I drop a term and forget to define it afterwards. ^^;

To sum up the path that led me to Kemetic Orthodoxy… In 2005, I initiated a relationship with Sekhmet; for a lot of reasons at the time, I needed Her. For the first couple years, it was a request-based relationship, but we got much tighter when She requested that I study Egyptian religion and mythology. (I had protested that I was no good with ceremonialism, but She wanted me to know as much as I could so that I could blend Her culture with my own organic spirituality as well as possible. I figured it was a fair compromise. Knowledge can’t hurt, right?) I did an initial round of study, deepened my devotion to Her, and this year, came into the urge/calling for another round of more in-depth study.

As a part of that study, I took the beginner course offered by Kemetic Orthodoxy, acquired like ten new books (with so many more on the wishlist…), and found people I respect and adore in the community. Turns out that (this brand of) Kemeticism is not nearly so ceremonial-magicky as I thought; some state practices are formal, but most personal practice is spontaneous and/or flexible. I never really thought I’d find a spiritual community that resonated well with me, that so supported individual experiences and subjective differences and tolerance, but I have, and I love it dearly. Also, for the first time in many a year, I feel drawn towards deities other than Sekhmet, which is amazing and a little nervous-making, but I’m eager to explore. Hell, I’m even wanting to turn this ravenous appetite for knowledge-experience back on Celtic mythology, which I never realized felt like home turf until I ventured back into the green.

I am just… utterly amazed by the vibe the Kemetic Orthodoxy community gives off. It’s like basking in sunlight, wanting to roll around to absorb every last bit of warmth and brilliance. These people aren’t just devoted to what they believe, they aren’t just worshipping and taking joy in their gods, they’re learning and studying and debating and doing. They fuse mind and spirit, body and word. The primary personal rite, Senut, even has suggested maximums of typical time spent in it because one should be out living this life they’re celebrating, not staying in shrine dawn to dusk. (Uh, priests have slightly different expectations, of course, but the emphasis on Living Life remains.) That’s so cool to me. And, while Kemetic Orthodoxy does have certain tenets central to the faith, they aren’t The Only Way. It may be the Kemetic Orthodoxy way, but if you don’t jive with that, if you don’t believe it or practice it, no problem – it doesn’t make you wrong, even though it may make you not-Kemetic-Orthodox. Tolerance for the win!

And yes, everything about Kemetic Orthodoxy and the friends I have made within it is infused with NRE (new relationship energy; the buzz, the dazzle, the endorphin glow). I am excited and giddy about my fellow beginners, about the upcoming graduation process that will see us offered a place within the religion as either Remetj (see aforementioned terminology list) or Shemsu, depending on where we want to be and the level of commitment we wish. I want to keep challenging myself to learn more, experience more, and do more. It’s an amazing, eye-opening thing, and since my core beliefs and worldview parallel or overlap the Kemetic Orthodoxy tenets, I can stay true to myself while engaging fully.

tl;dr version: Kemetic Orthodoxy is crazy-awesome and jives with me really well and I’m super-happy with it. :D

Happy Wep Ronpet! Today is the first day of the Kemetic new year, a year of green and building under the guidance of Ptah, creator and patron of artisans and craftsmen, consort of Sekhmet. I like Ptah a lot and was leaning towards Him before the year’s oracle was announced, so it fits extra-well to me.

I rather like having two new years – one in January, my personal new year, and now one almost perfectly opposite it, for Kemetics. More fresh starts and renewal energy. Is good.

In the tradition of Wep Ronpet activities, one makes a representation of Ap-p (Apophis), the snake that embodies isfet, the monster that Ra in His solar barque must defeat each night so that the sun may rise at dawn– and then one slays that representation.

J made a pansnake (pancake-snake), and we slew it with great fanfare. It bled boysenberry syrup. I left the severed head, along with a blood-colored drink, on my altar.

We’re a caring, gentle people… :D

Since I could not do the ritual of the Red Pot, where one smashes a terracotta pot to symbolically destroy the thing(s) holding one back, I made do with fire magic instead. I’d acquired a copper bowl for exactly such a purpose, in Sekhmet’s name, a while back, and this was the first time in using it. (Anyone familiar with magic will probably already know what I did – write down the thing(s) I want destroyed, burn the paper, scatter/bury the ashes. Standard stuff.) I felt better afterwards.

And then I went the hell to sleep because it was almost 2 am and I was exhausted.

I just had a weird moment where I thought about Ptah creating the world with his voice, with words, and how I might identify with that, with Him, in writing with words to create my own worlds.

Uh.

Nebt-het seems a sad story to me. Always playing second to Her sister, Aset; married to Set, but living with Aset and Wesir, and possibly for this incongruency, She was called “an imitation woman with no vagina” in one of the Pyramid Texts; had a child by Wesir, upsetting Aset, but was never Wesir’s chosen wife, though She mourned faithfully along with Aset when He died. She is guide to the newly deceased and comfort to the surviving relatives, perhaps because She lost Wesir– perhaps because She knows how it hurts and thus how to comfort, and perhaps because She wanted to guide Wesir safely through the Duat but could not, so She instead guides the human dead.

I lit a candle, prayed, and shared my blackberry-grape water with Her.

…

lady of darkness
sweep away shadows
bring the fallen one into light
help those left upon this earth
move on and brave a precious rebirth

lady of darkness
draw close the shadows
hide the new child safely
help your lord’s son grow into strength
so he may one day take your lord’s place

…

Uh, that last line is referring to Heru-sa-Aset, who Nebt-het helped protect and hide during His vulnerable childhood, becoming king in His father Wesir’s stead.

Also, that totally has a tune to it. Sweet. Click here to listen! (An interesting note… the tune is derived from my sister’s song to Set. I looked to Nebt-het when it popped into my head and asked if it was okay, and got the distinct impression that She has no problem with using a melody similar to Her husband’s song.)

may You align
all mothers’ hearts and hands
to their children’s highest good
and may no one
commit isfet
in Your name.

(yes, that includes
creating snakes
that bite the sun god.
just sayin’.)

shed Your cool light
which is as starlight on fresh snow
on the lives of those
who need You as mother
and guide them
as You did Your own son.

(even with the scorpions.
i know their stings
build character
when they do not destroy.)

may Your love be known,
seen, felt,
as pure emotion, not just
service.

Renenutet is barley-wheat-golden, the color of indirect sunlight, the softness of grain and the practicality of threshing it. Harvest-goddess, protective of the crops before and after they’re taken from the fields, and likewise protective of and involved with the vineyards. Mother-goddess, divine nurse, nurturing and sustenance-giving. Cobra, fiery-eyed to enemies (but not nearly so strong or purely-aggressive as Sekhmet), linked to the uraeus and thus to the Eye of Ra (but softly, distantly, not as much as Wadjet). Sun-golden and harvest-bountiful and earthy-practical and loving.

Ptah is… pale blue but not directly, like the color is filtered through an open room and barely seen as an aura/overlay. Beautiful Of Face, with skin like faience and stars, bearded and smooth-headed. Craftsman, patron of artisans, blue-collar in that He works with His hands where most the other Names don’t, but sophisticated in that He is a master at what He creates. Gentle, quiet-voiced; not the epitome of compassion and coddling, but relaxed, unassuming, understanding. Sovereign in what He does and is, and allows others, including humans, to be sovereign in what they do and are; there is no pressure to conform or to change or to Do/Be This Thing. I feel like I could sit in the room where He’s working and not need to say anything, just be comfortable in the silence, in the dim softly-lit air that is somehow dusty, maybe with sawdust or just murky sunlight through small windows. Craftsman-Ptah is Creator-Ptah, and it makes sense to me that He could make all that exists and then take joy in working physically, building structures and other things within that creation. Other than the pale blue aura, all the color I see with/around Him is in browns– woods, dust, muddy golden light through a needs-cleaning window.

Yinepu… I blame my sense-impression of Him on someone (I think Per-Sabu.org?) saying the key word “cthonic” and cuing up in my head all sorts of visceral reactions and sensations/imagery normally reserved for Celtic deities, for Cernunnos. See, Celtic deities feel like home, like all that’s in the earth and a part of it, thickly elemental and tangible and sensory; Kemetic deities feel clear and spacious, open, bright, but not perfectly clean or flawless– just delineated, complex but well-lit. If my experiences are a tree, Celtic is the twining roots and Kemetic is the stretching branches. But Yinepu bridges the gap between Kemetic clarity and Celtic visceralness, with strong arms and black fur, a sense of the underground that feels familiar to me, an animal force matched with a thinking mind and a feeling spirit/soul. Silence, and coolness, and a heavy male-canid presence, a crouching, a waiting. No hostility or even intimidation, no fear, and probable considerable gentleness/compassion for the dead or the (more spiritual, more shamanic) death-rebirth process– but also not a bouncy, tail-waggy jql-pup. I am intrigued and, while not specifically drawn to Him, I don’t know what to do when I get that strong a sense of Someone but find out more about Them.