I haven’t always been as blunt and communicative about my wants and needs as I am now. This took years of training – I had to come all the way from distant Doormat Land to arrive at my new house in I’m Totally Worthy City.

One thing has been consistent, however, no matter where I’ve lived. If I am craving something, I seek to give it to others.

I want a hug, so I give one. I want time and attention, so I give it to someone else who needs it. I want a really enjoyable meal, so I take someone out to dinner.

It’s totally selfless, of course – I am meeting others’ needs before my own.

And it’s totally selfish, of course – by meeting another’s need, I meet my own.

There’s also a wistful aspect to this, a hopefulness lying quiet behind the eyes: if I do this for someone when they don’t ask, maybe someone will do something for me without me asking for it.

That’s the little stuff, though. What about the big stuff? The things that make a day not just memorable, but downright amazing?

I can’t tell you how many times I imagine fantastic scenarios of everyday life in my head. What if a stranger came up to me and gave me a random compliment or started a conversation (an awesome one, of course) out of nowhere? What if someone drove alongside my car, smiling and waving, and went out of their way just to escort me a few extra miles? What if someone made me laugh on a day where I looked a little somber?

But wait, why am I waiting for someone else to act? Why can’t I amaze someone else like that?

What if I went to a coffeeshop with a book or my laptop and put on the table a folded card that said Hey, come sit and chat? What if I walked up to someone and said “Hi, you look awesome and interesting. I’d like to know you.“? What if I went to dinner with my sketchbook and, as I was leaving, gave the server whatever I just made? What if I sat in the park with my guitar and actually met the eyes of the people walking past? What if I saw someone who looked kinda down and invited them to tea or lunch or just dessert?

It’d blast through my mundane filter, that’s for damn sure. People just don’t do these things, except in rare and amazing cases. Even in a small city like this, people don’t meet each other’s eyes and smile. There is no sitting-on-the-stoop-after-dinner-and-chatting. And sure, I grew up in a tiny town, but it was in the mountains, and we didn’t have enough neighbors to really get our social on, either.

What would happen if you went out of your way to give someone the exact thing you’ve been craving? Would you find yourself as fulfilled as the other person, or even moreso?