Being gentle with myself took a while. I’ve heard a lot of people suggest treating oneself like one would treat a beloved child (or pet or close friend), which works surprisingly well. (It helped me most to consider myself a semi-feral animal, which responds strongly and negatively to loud and angry things, but responds cautiously and calmly to quiet voices and kindnesses.) Once I convinced myself that I deserved gentleness, even from myself, it was a little easier to learn to give it. And the learning was mostly being mindful, recognizing when I was being harsh, and then modulating that to something a little kinder. After a while, it becomes habit, and the harshness decreases gradually.

I think the trick, for me at least, was realizing that I’m worth the effort to be gentle to. The harshness, the judgmental attitude, the expectations of perfection – these are not only unnecessary, but unreasonable from anyone, including myself. I respond much better to positive encouragement than negative berating, when it comes to motivation and change.

But I do want to know… How did you learn to be gentle with yourself? Seems like a really great skill to learn.